On the bright side, the doctor doesn't think I need all my plumbing removed. She does, though, think that depending on today's test results we might want to go in there and manually wrestle out the bad cells before they get ideas above their station. Apparently she will use a lasso-shaped wire knife to slice things up, then cauterize the area to stop the bleeding.

Ouch.

She looks entirely too kind-hearted to do this sort of thing. "We numb the area first, you won't really feel anything but a little pressure," she said reassuringly. Opportunist that I am, I asked, "Will you give me some take home drugs too?" I'm not one to pass up the opportunity to legally obtain mind-altering substances.

So we get to wait a bit more for these lab results to come back. She said that if the cells look the same as they did before, that means they're not getting any worse and we can go back to quarterly exams. If they come back different, she wants to lasso them right away. Yippee ki-yi-ay.