I can't sleep, which is really unlike me.

Floating to the top of my mind is one of my staff, or former staff as of yesterday, who I thought I was being kind and generous to and turns out that I was facilitating something else entirely. At least so it seems to me. I hate when I believe in the goodness of people and it's not there, or it's buried or subverted or something. I hate second-guessing myself. Why didn't I see it, or listen to anyone else who saw something I didn't see? Why do I always have to feel that it's better to bend over backwards for others only to have it tossed back at me, casually, as though I haven't any feelings?