Rob is on his way out right now. He told me I have to stay home (which is fine because my drugs are making me a bit woozy and sleepy).

"Why are you going out right now?" I whine.
"To find you a Christmas gift," Rob snorts.
"But you already got me something," I whine further, noting that I've got the DVD playing even as we speak.
"I have to get you something that you don't know what it is," he retorts.
"Why can't you be like most men and go out on 12/24?"
Pause. Rob furrows his brow.
"What's that?"

Men.